18 Ways to Get Over Your Heartbreak

1. Know that getting over the end of your relationship is supposed to be hard.

Divorce hurts everyone involved just in different ways and at different times. You can easily know the truth of this by the amount of divorce information you find on the internet, the number of songs written about the end of relationships and the number of TV shows, movies and books about all kinds of breakups. Because this time is so difficult, be gentle with yourself. Showing yourself compassion as you work your way through the depths of your broken heart will help you get through it a whole lot more quickly than if you’re impatient with yourself.

2. Allow yourself to grieve, but don’t regularly throw yourself pity parties.

Being compassionate with yourself does include allowing yourself to feel sad about all your losses, but it doesn’t mean that you should focus on what is no more. Giving excessive attention to what you’ve lost only serves to keep you stuck in your heartbreak.

3. Ask for help.

Going through a divorce, in particular, is one of the most difficult things you can do. There’s no reason why you should go through it alone. Ask for help. Ask Google. Ask your friends. Ask helping professionals. Build a support structure for yourself with the goal of helping you recover from your breakup as thoroughly and quickly as possible.

4. Don’t dwell on the past.

There are three thoughts about the past that typically trip-up people healing from a serious breakup:
They want to understand exactly why their relationship ended.
They beat themselves up for what they could have, should have, or would have done.
They blame their ex exclusively for everything that happened.

Dwelling on the past keeps you there. Just like you can’t drive a car forward by staring in the rear view mirror, you can’t move your life forward if you’re focusing on the past. You can’t change the past. The best you can do is learn from it.

5. View the failure of your relationship as simply an important lesson you needed to learn.

You and your ex were in a relationship that didn’t make it. The relationship failed and you can learn from it — if you choose to. Once you decide to learn from the failure instead of labeling yourself as a failure, you will regain confidence in yourself and your ability to have a successful relationship in the future.

6. Stop viewing yourself as a victim.

It’s so easy to feel like a victim when someone breaks up with you. Yet that’s the worst thing you can do. (I struggled a lot with victim mentality when I got divorced.) When you view yourself as a victim, you deny yourself the strength and power you have and need to get over your heartbreak. Change your story, and take responsibility for what you did (or didn’t do) that contributed to the end of your relationship.